Wednesday 27 September 2017

What an awful week

I have enjoyed my holidays resting In  Barnard castle, but this last week  the wheels really came off

Everything has gone totally wrong, because I have been unable to work things out, or remember what I had just been told

I know that I have been very agitated,  but did not really take on board everything else, like the change in mood and personality which my wife said she noticed.

I confess that I don't understand these changes, and don't always realise things like this when they happen

This was on top of asking the same questions over and over again without knowing about it, and also forgetting my medication, all of which is distressing

This morning I tried to put my porridge into the fridge, then went into the, living room with the milk, which should have gone in to the fridge.
This has happened a few times in the past

On Monday I changed my mobile phone contract to virgin mobile,  after   months of problems with 3 mobile
Then after getting home things came off the rails, and I lost a lot of my data, due to not being able to get my head into gear.

Virgin  had changed my contacts onto my new phone,  but my apps were still on my old phone and I could not work out how to swap them over.

In years gone by,  this would have been very easy to swap things over, now it's becoming frightening

Then on Thursday my new phone died, so I had to take it back to the shop again where they checked it and then changed it.

I realised that I was losing control of my technology side of things, and this hit me hard, because I have been battling to hang onto it.

I could not blame virgin for my phone  problems, but I knew my brain was not working  things out clearly as in the past, but I need to keep trying.

I think it's all down to my eyesight and brain not working together as you would expect. We all take this for granted until it all stops working as it's supposed to do.

When you lose the ability to work and plan things out, as you have done for years, it starts to become a nightmare.

I think this is the reality of the nightmare of living with Lewy Body Dementia, and everything that goes with this horrible illness

I guess this has all been building up gradually over the summer, because I had problems trying  to think clearly and writing things down, so things like the blog have not happened.

There have been days when I wondered if I was in the real world, or if it's all been down to my brain playing tricks.

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